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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Casual vs. committed

Let me first state that I am a decent person. I have just gotten out of a year-long relationship with someone. I don't want to be in a relationship right now, but I do enjoy female companionship. Let's "hypothetically" say that I am currently dating a few women. It has been casual with all of them and I haven't given any sign that I want any more than that.

I have recently been asked by two of them, not at the same time, "Where is this going?" I respond in the most honest way possible, "I'm not ready to be serious, I'm enjoying the single life." Both of them have gotten pissed that I have gone out with other women while we have gone out on a few dates. Let me reiterate that I have been completely honest from the start.

My question is, am I in the wrong and how long can a relationship stay casual?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are definately in the right. as long as you are up front with them at the beginning all they can do is have stronger feelings for you than you do for them. In that case I would tell them to buy a coat. I hear it gets really cold on the curb.

Anonymous said...

Did you ever say, "Hi, I want to date you, sleep with you, but not get attached to you? Oh, and meanwhile I'm going to date other women, probably sleep with them too, but only call you guys when I feel like going out?" If not, did you ever think that YOUR "honest from the start" wasn't quite that clear to them? I say as long as you really did make it clear to them, you are in the right. A relationship only stays casual until one person develops further feelings, so it just depends on what kind of people are in the relationship. But if you were straight with them in the beginning and they went into it thinking they could change your mind, you can't help that. Totally not your fault.

Anonymous said...

You obviously have the same problem I have. Only crazy people are attracted to you. Its a curse. But yes you are in the right and their is no time limit as long as you are both cool with the arrangements

Anonymous said...

Even if you were innocent at first, now that you know where at least two of them stand the only decent thing to do is break it off with them.

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